lower left, Kenneth Warren, my friend and colleague, at Wadsworth Public Library
He can celebrate his very real strengths–for instance, strong religious feeling, or a great capacity for friendship, whch often, according to Jung, “creates astonishing tenderness between men and may even rescue friendship between the sexes from the limbo of the impossible.” Marion Woodman, The Pregnant Virgin (pg.157)
My closest male friend, and the closest friend I ever had, Ken Warren, passed away suddenly yesterday in NYC, at his parent’s house. Ken and I intentionally brought into detailed resolution over eleven years many highly developed senses of male friendship.
I spoke to him for three hours on Tuesday, and last saw him May 6th where we, as it turned out, for the last time, dove into our collaborative exploration for five hours, first at a tiny Mid-East restaurant, and then sitting on a bench at the public park off of Madison in Lakewood.
Ken and Stephen in 2009 investigating. (Lakewood Observer photo)
Obviously, there is a lot I might say. Yet, today, I’m just wrestled to the ground. For now, it is simple: he and I succeeded at our deep embrace, and we loved putting the time in with each other over eleven years.
And, we proved you have to put the time in to honor the soul that must be freed. We both brought a lot of chops and vulnerability and honesty to the matter of our mutual inquiry and co-creative artistry, so to be together with Ken was to know each other, and to be known.
Love came and said
that I should only be with it,
that I should avoid being sensible, steady, intellectual.
So love and I kept visiting,
back and forth, until now,
I did not go home.
I live here now, inside
this new annihilation.
version of Rumi by Coleman Barks, from Soul Fury, Rumi and Shams Tabriz and Friendship
The last Cube-O-Probe shared with Ken on May 19.
Holding you in my heart.
Jacquie and I are really sorry for your loss, Stephen. Thanks for your testimony to male friendship. Doesn’t happen often.
Thank you deeply, Carie, Roger, Jacquie.
Stephen I’m really sorry to read this and as I have a friend who means a great great deal to me, I appreciate how devastating this loss must be to you. I like the photos too. Thanks for writing about this.
Thank Susan. I hope everybody has at least one friend who is allowed to deeply know. I’m fortunate in that I have a handful of such friends, although Ken was the only man.
This is a beautiful way to honor your deep male friendship. What a gift to have known and be known by another soul. I’m so sorry to hear about his passing. May he rest in peace.
So sorry, Stephen, for such a deep loss. An hour ago I was looking at a card that read: We will never be the same as we were before this loss, but we are ever so much better for having had something so great to lose.
Light and peace in the days ahead.
Love,
Maureen
I’m so sorry, Stephen. So sorry.
Thank you all.